Tuesday, 23 October 2012

Sorry tale

Yesterday I was very mean to someone I care a lot about.
 Not making excuses, but it was one of those times when I had chosen to attempt to do too many things at once, and nothing was being done properly. When I asked him for help in explaining something technical, he explained it in a way that wasn't immediately helpful to me.....and I had, what can only be described as, a tantrum! I stomped my feet and snarled that he was no help at all. He had the common sense to angrily tell me not to get angry at him.  So then I "huffed" out of the room. Yes, very mature, and evolved (not).
 For a while I managed to convince myself that I had every right to continue to feel angry.
I noticed the next thing I felt was doubt....then remorse.......then embarrassment at my behaviour. At that point I began to wonder how long he would stay angry at me. I remembered an elderly client of mine telling me that she hadn't spoken to her two brothers for many, many years and that she was not able to recall what they had originally argued about! She just knew there was this huge wall of anger that none of them could ever seem to climb over. Now that she was in his later years she was regretful but felt too much time had elapsed for effort to be made..........Amazing the thoughts that come into your head at just the right times. Higher self will always provide :)
So I ventured back into his presence and "threw myself at his mercy" by simply apologising.
"I am so sorry I was so mean," I said, very quietly.
He replied," Why were you angry with me, I was trying to help you?"
I resisted the sudden urge I felt to justify my anger, and totally swallowed my pride by saying, "I have no idea, anger just overwhelmed me and it was wrong to take it out on you. Please forgive me." I smiled...then he smiled.....because it is hard to stay angry at someone who apologises and totally agrees with you that they are at fault!
Every "angry circumstance" isn't that simple of course, but I do think it's worth having a good think about how much fault you may need to assume........then offering apology for it. It's not easy, pride often will get in the way of it being easy, but it may prevent a lifetime of regret. And by setting the example, being the first to offer an apology, you're literally halfway there.

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