Saturday, 26 May 2012

You Be the Judge

Recently, I've been thinking  lot about the concept of judgement .
People get so worried about the judgement that may be bestowed upon them.  I wonder  how much we allow the fear of being judged to limit the choices we make in our actions, our words, our lives?
I don't mean the judgements you might expect to be directed at actions that would cause physical or emotional harm to another person ( or any living thing). I am referring to the fears of judgement that stop us considering a course of action because someone else might think it's "silly", "selfish", "immature", "wasteful", or "risky".......that you might be judged in a way that you don't feel comfortable with if you "reach" for something that excites you.
I wonder how many careers, hobbies, shopping expeditions, kick-your-heels up experiences, any kind of fun-loving opportunities, or even time to chill-out-and-do-nothing, people disregard for fear of judgement. Or for that matter, I wonder how many things people do out of obligation for fear of being judged otherwise?
So here are a few ideas I think it's worth considering about the judgement concept.
In acknowledging that we might be judged we allow what may be going on in another person's mind to control our lives. Something not even out there in the world but in their mind. And only maybe- because most of us can't read  minds! So how would you know anyway. Yet people let this idea stifle action that might bring them joy.
I am all about the moments of joy this life is meant to bring us.
Surely it has to be at least worth talking about your "dream", no matter it's size, before you make assumptions that judgement will follow any action.
 I think we care most about the judgement of those we care the most for....strange, because wouldn't our loved ones  want us to be happy? I certainly think the happiness of those I love is important and that they need to live "happiness focussed" lives. And yet we don't always remember that fact, when it comes to our own happiness.
I've also realised  that you can only "be" judged if you allow yourself to be. I mean, it's not like being caught in a shower of rain without an umbrella, or sprinkled with stardust(sadly, because that sounds nice). Judgement is not a physical experience. But people do allow it to manifest  physical symptoms- sadness, embarrassment, remorse, resentment. Those emotions are pretty damaging for relationships! Maybe better to ignore the judgement and be happy.....
For me, if the thought of any new course of action( no matter how "big" or "small") makes me smile or gives me a "buzz"  that's all the guidance I need to act and I don't consider how others might "judge" me for being ......who I am.
Whenever a thought of, " Oh, but what might others think ?" occassionally enters my head I remind  myself that they are possibly so absorbed with what others are thinking of them that they are not even concerned with my progress! And further, maybe if they do notice they might see the joy that ignoring fear of judgement brings me. They might be inspired themselves.
I imagine a lot of very happy, successful people are happy and successful because they have mastered the art of ignoring the concept of judgement.

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